The Mountains of Bactra
by Baliansword
Summary: Alexander and Hephaestion have a disagreement while in the mountains of Bactra. Perhaps there are cuts that run too deep. Yet, even the harshest snow eventually must melt. Cute, a little fluffy, but good.


Title: "The Mountains of Bactra"

Author: Baliansword

Type: One Shot

Rating: T

A/N: This is just something that happened to pop into my head. Let me know what you think.

Summary: Alexander and Hephaestion have a disagreement while in the mountains of Bactra. Perhaps there are cuts that run too deep. Yet, even the harshest snow eventually must melt.

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He glanced over at him, him mind running in a thousand different directions as he glanced around. The snow continued to fall, the wind pelting it against his body as he tried to stand tall, still looking for a sign of any of the other men. It had been foolish to scout ahead, just he and Alexander. It was a vain attempt to be alone with him. However, Alexander had spoken of nothing but the campaign, and Hephaestion hadn't gotten a word in edge wise. With the impending snows, trying to track their trail back to where they'd left the camp was in vain, and the snow had quickly covered the trail anyway. For all they knew they were walking in circles. Or, perhaps even worse, they were walking into dangerous territory of the Bactrans.

When he saw him standing there, the wind blowing the furs that he wore over his grand shoulders, his mind stopped racing. He was nothing but the sheer perfect sculpture of a man. The gods had gifted him to the world, perhaps to take it over, and Hephaestion was just lucky enough to see him everyday. He would travel the world all over again, even in the worst of the times, just to be able to be near Alexander. As he looked at him, his mind could grasp only one thing, even though it should have thought of their survival instead.

He envisioned his hands running over Alexander's back as he held him firmly against him. He could taste Alexander's lips against his, the heat overtaking them, tongues fighting for dominance over the other. In reality he bit his lower lip, trying to push the images from his mind. Yet they wouldn't go away. He continued to just stare at Alexander, but then, it happened again. As he thought of his hands running over Alexander, suddenly, he remembered that Bagoas' hands had been there as well. Instantly he turned away, cursing himself quietly for thinking of it again.

Since Bagoas it had been hard to get close to Alexander. Harder than he would have thought actually. He knew when it was confirmed that it had actually happened, his worst fears being confirmed, that it had upset him. Yet he'd never thought that he'd never be able to get close to Alexander again. He loved him, still wanted him, but every time he tried to get close something pulled him away. At first he hoped that Alexander wouldn't notice. But he had.

At first he asked if something was wrong. Hephaestion couldn't tell him, of course, because it would only bring up another fight that he did not wish to have. At the same time, it embarassed him that he couldn't accept that he wasn't the only one that held Alexander's heart. He should have taken the blow and gotten over it, yet he couldn't. No matter what there was no way to express to Alexander what was going on in his mind. So eventually Alexander stopped asking. He then grew distant, and Hephaestion had tried once to explain, but Alexander had merely told him that one was not needed. He left him then, standing on the balcony with nothing else to say. Ever since, they'd been far apart.

The idea to go ahead with him had suddenly just popped into his mind. It had been a good idea. Or at least he thought that it had been a good idea. However, now, it was a terrible idea it seemed. He glanced around once more, looking for something, but found nothing. There was only Alexander, trying to stand against the wind the same as he.

"Hephaestion," Alexander called after he took a small walk in the wrong direction. Or at least Hephaestion thought that it was the wrong direction. Yet he really didn't know anymore which way was right, which was wrong, and which was just a path. He glanced over at Alexander. The thought of him and Bagoas being together, sharing a bed, pained him. The women he could take, understand even, but Bagoas he never would. Alexander motioned him to come and Hephaestion walked heavily across the snow.

A sudden gust of wind blew a sheet of snow against him and he stumbled momentarily. He fell and reaching out with both hands was able to catch himself. As he pushed himself up though he noticed a small red patch of snow. He checked the palms of his hands. One was cut, not terribly, yet it was still bleeding steadily. Sighing he started to move forward again, and as he did, he felt the solid feeling of sharp rocks beneath him. The wind blew again, and this time he steadied himself, but as he took another step forward lost his footing and slid on the icy snow. Cursing, he slid down a small incline, stopping finally as he dug his heels into the snow.

"Hephaestion," he heard Alexander call. Catching his breath he glanced down at his feet. If he slid down much more he'd be sliding down a larger incline. It was almost a complete drop, rocks still peeking out of the snow, along with trunks of trees sprouting up as well. Exhaling, he tilted his head up, and saw Alexander. Alexander reached down for him, somehow stable where he was. He then looked around at the way he was positioned. As long as he didn't move his feet, or his back, he should be fine. Still, it was going to be hard.

"Hephaestion," Alexander called down to him, voice lifting over the wind. "Take my hand! Push yourself up as you reach. Hephaestion, trust me, you won't fall."

Again, he cursed. He then pressed his heels further into the snow. Taking a breath he tested to see what would happen if he lifted his back. The snow was new, and it began to slide as he did this. Quickly he pressed his back against the snow again. Alexander was right. He was going to have to jump slightly if he was going to grab his hand. He closed his eyes, pressing them tightly together, and exhaled. His breath floated in the air. Opening his eyes, he tilted his head up again. Then, as Alexander nodded, he quickly pushed away from the snow. His hand found Alexander's, but barely.

"Relax," Alexander assured him as he reached down with his other hand. He grabbed Hephaestion's wrist and held tightly to him. It strained him for a moment but Hephaestion soon was scaling up the snow, sliding slightly, but for the most part it was easy with Alexander stabling him. Finally Alexander pulled him into the safety of the cave that he'd found. Hephaestion fell against the hard, freezing really, rock. Breathing heavily, lying on his stomach, he thought for a moment about kissing the stone. He decided against it though.

"Are you alright," Alexander asked him. It was the most he'd said to him in at least a month. Hephaestion carefully rolled onto his back. The cave wasn't too dark, nor too dreary, but it was still a cave. Taking in another breath he nodded.

"Thank you," was all that he could manage to say. Alexander took that as a good enough answer. He then moved in the cave, feeling his way around. The cave did not go back too far before he could no longer search it. The opening became small, probably big enough for only a hand to the wrist to fit through. Hephaestion meanwhile just lay there, thinking. He was trying to stop but his mind would not let up. He felt as if the weight of the world was piling up upon his shoulders. Perhaps falling would have been better for him.

"Nothing," Alexander sighed. He moved back to the small space beside Hephaestion. The cave was wide enough for the width of both of their bodies, but not much more at all. It was higher, and they could likely stoop and manage to move around. Neither of them felt like it though. Instead, they both lay there, in a rather uncomfortable silence.

"We'll find our way better in the morning anyway," Alexander finally said, desperately trying to think of something to say to strike some sort of conversation. Hephaestion had grown distant and despite his heart's judgement, he'd let him. He glanced over at him, but Hephaestion didn't even seem to notice, or even worse if he had then he didn't show the slightest care.

"I'm sorry for bringing you," Hephaestion said. As soon as the words left his mouth he knew they sounded wrong. Quickly he added more. "If I would have known of this, then I would have never let you leave the men."

"No," he sighed, "I would have followed you even if you'd left me. Worse, I'd be saddling Bucephalus now and riding out in this mess in an attempt to find you."

"You would?"

"Of course," he said without a hesitation. He then propped himself on his side and looked at Hephaestion. It was time to stop hiding. He wanted to know, so he asked him immediately what he'd wanted to ask for weeks. "Hephaestion, do you still love me?"

"What?"

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes," he answered, after a long pause. It did not assure Alexander. His heart almost stopped and he lay back on his back. He stared up at the dark roof of the cave. He thought about closing his eyes, but couldn't. Then he heard the chattering of teeth and glanced at Hephaestion, who still lay beside him. He knew that his back was wet, from the snow, and now the cool surface of the cave could not be helping. Instinctively he reached for him, placing his arm over his chest, so that he could carefully place his body against his. Hephaestion flinched though.

"Fine," Alexander said, dejected, as he moved away from him again. Anger was rising in his gut. He didn't know what to say. It was clear that Hephaestion wanted nothing to do with him though. Finally he turned to look at Hephaestion, sitting up as he did so. "What have I done to make you this way?"

"Nothing."

"No," he raised his voice, not because he was angry, but because he was concerned. Hephaestion finally looked at him. This time he seemed actually interested in what Alexander was saying. "I am sick of hearing that nothing is wrong. Something is clearly wrong and I want to know what it is."

"I am fine," he merely said again.

"As your king," he said, selecting the worst words to say to him possible, "I demand to know what the situation is."

"You," Hephaestion finally yelled back. He sat up as well, pulling his knees under his chin. He was still shaking slightly. But the anger that was washing over him at least was bringing some color back to his face. It brought fire back into his cerulean eyes as well.

"What about me," Alexander asked, hurt creeping into his voice. So it did have something to do with him. That he already knew. But for the first time he was beginning to believe that perhaps Hephaestion actually had stopped loving him. Could he stop loving him? Alexander didn't think it possible for them to not love one another. Could it be?

"I," he began but then stopped. He was suddenly full of emotions, which was clear enough. The anger was leaving him. Instead, he was trembling, about to cry. Yet he tried to keep the tears away as he continued. "I can't be with you right now Alexander."

"Why?"

"Because, I just can't. I don't want to explain it. I can't even begin to explain it to myself, let alone you. I love you but…."

"But what!"

The harsh tone, mixed with the yell it came with, was all that Hephaestion could take. Instantly tears were rolling down his cheeks. He buried his face in his knees, hair falling over him so Alexander could not longer see him. Alexander sighed. He'd clearly said the wrong things. He hadn't even wanted to yell. It just naturally turned out to be the only thing he knew how to do. Perhaps he was becoming what he'd never wanted to be, his father.

"Hephaestion," he said as he crawled toward him. He stopped before him, and he reached out, and placed his hands against Hephaestion's cheeks. He raised his head and with a hand pulled the hair away from Hephaestion's face so that he could look upon him. He then wiped the tears from under his eyes carefully with his thumbs. Hephaestion looked at him as he did so, and he did not protest, but at the same time his eyes were hollow.

"Phae," he whispered, "I'm sorry."

"I know," was his answer. He drew in a breath and said nothing else. Alexander continued to carefully wipe the tears away from Hephaestion's cheek. Hephaestion raised a hand, and wiped his cheek. As he withdrew his hand, a red swipe of blood was left where the tears had been. Alexander reached out, taking his hand, and inspected the wound that Hephaestion had forgotten was there.

"Hephaestion," Alexander breathed as he quickly looked for a scrap of chiton to tear. He did so, then wrapped it around Hephaestion's palm. He tied it, tight. Hephaestion winced, drawing in a sharp breath, and glanced away from Alexander. "You should have told me if you were injured."

"It isn't bad."

"Hephaestion," he said, touching his cheek, wiping the blood away. He did so, then returned his palm to Hephaestion's cheek. He was cold. Colder than even Alexander, and even he was beginning to feel the temperature. "Please, tell me what I have done."

"Him," he whispered.

"What?"

"You did _him,_" Hephaestion said as he finally drew away from Alexander's touch. Alexander watched him do so. Then, suddenly, he understood. Hephaestion was talking about Bagoas. Instantly guilt washed over him. He'd thought that Hephaestion had already understood, but, apparently he hadn't.

"He meant nothing," he choked out. His throat suddenly was dry and he didn't know what to say. Everything seemed to be constricting him. How was it that he'd done such a thing anyway? If he would have known, he wouldn't have done it, wouldn't have risked what he'd had with Hephaestion.

"He did at the time."

"Phae, believe me, it meant nothing. It was a mistake."

"You like repeating your mistakes then," Hephaestion said bitterly. He looked away, saying nothing. Alexander thought for a moment. He then moved closer, so that Hephaestion's back was against the side of the cave, and he could move nowhere else. "I still love you, but don't touch me."

"Why?"

"Because every time I see you," he whispered, looking out at the falling snow, "all I can think about is that he's touched you. He's kissed you, and you've kissed him and held him in your arms. You've done things to him that you've only done with me Alexander. Every touch, should we ever be together again, will remind me that he's touched you in the same way."

"But it meant nothing. He barely even touched me! Hephaestion, I assure you, there is only you in my heart."

"I know," he said honestly. "Just, please, give me some time."

"You're cold," Alexander said, trying his best to change the subject. He removed the fur coat that he'd brought with him and carefully wrapped it around Hephaestion. Hephaestion finally turned his gaze back to him. Alexander bit his lower lip, licked it, then told him what he knew to be true. "I love only you in this world Hephaestion."

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Alexander had closed his eyes a good hour ago. But he was just falling asleep when Hephaestion finally turned his head, letting his eyes roam over Alexander's body. He did not show if he was cold at all. Instead, he lay on his side, his back to Hephaestion. Slowly, Hephaestion inched closer. He stretched out beside Alexander, taking the coat that he still held over his shoulders, and flung half of it over Alexander. Then, he closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

Somewhere in the night he awoke though, as had Alexander. Without disturbing Hephaestion, Alexander had turned, and was then facing him. He watched him sleep. Nothing more, but staring, wondering what it was he dreamt of. He dared not reach out and touch him. He was even careful not to breathe too heavily, should it wake him. Yet Hephaestion's eyes fluttered open, and sleepily he smiled. Alexander did not know why, but he did not need to ask. He was just glad that finally it was a look other than a scowl.

"I love you," Hephaestion whispered. He then sleepily tilted his head up, placing his lips upon Alexander's. He kissed him lightly, then draped an arm over Alexander's hip. Slowly, the kiss intensified and Alexander placed his arm over Hephaestion's waist.

"I love you too," Alexander told him as their lips parted. He traced his jaw with a finger, staring into the depths of his cerulean eyes, which even shone in the dim light of the moon that entered the cave. Hephaestion pulled Alexander closer to him and kissed him once more. Alexander was beginning to think that things were slowly returning to what they had been, and that thought was the first one he'd had in a great many days that he liked. Mostly because it evolved around his love for Hephaestion, and the love Hephaestion readily gave him back.

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Hephaestion felt the sun before he opened his eyes. He lay against Alexander, their bodies tightly wound to one another, nude but all the warmer. Hephaestion smiled as he lightly kissed Alexander, waking him from a soft sleep. Alexander's eyes opened, and he instantly was smiling, pressing soft kisses upon Hephaestion's face.

"Good morning," he whispered.

"Alexander," Hephaestion said. "I love you."

"I won't do it again," he vowed.

"I know."

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"Has the snow done anything to any of the other routes," Alexander asked as he sat in the warmth of the tent. His other generals surrounded him but there was only one that he cared about. He glanced up, catching a glimpse at Hephaestion. He stood against a pole of the tent, wrapping a thick fur around him. Alexander wished that he would warm up, but he never seemed to. Only when they had made love did the chill leave him. He almost smiled, thinking that the table the map currently on would be a sufficient bed should he need to warm Hephaestion up again quickly.

Hephaestion lifted a warm cup of wine to his lips. The doctors had always said that warming the wine was a bad idea. However, Hephaestion did not listen to them, for at the moment he only wanted to be warmer. Alexander glanced at him again, remembering what the physicians had told Alexander once, the second year into the campaign against Persia.

He recalled the physician telling him that Hephaestion did not have the strength it would take to go to Persia. He blamed it partially on his Athenian breeding. But he also blamed it on the fact that Hephaestion's immune system would never be the best. He'd never been sickly as a boy. Alexander had thought that a good thing. Yet instead, it meant that if he caught a sickness in Persia, it would hit him stronger than it would any other. Any illness could kill him. Suddenly Alexander didn't want him to drink the warm wine.

"No," Parmenion said surely. "It has covered over the trails but we can make it through. I am just glad that you and Hephaestion are fine. We were ready to send someone looking for you. I was about to go myself as well."

"Well," Alexander laughed, "I think we held up alright."

Hephaestion smiled when Alexander looked up at him. The look that they exchanged might not have been seen by others. It didn't matter though. For they were the only two that needed to see it. They were the only two that would truly ever understand their undying love for one another. With just one look, they both told each other they loved one another. Alexander called the meeting to a close quickly after. They would leave at midday. Yet until that moment, he had to tend to Hephaestion, and make sure he was warm enough.

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A/N: Thank you for reading. Leave a review and I'll love you forever!


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